To Blog, To Blog and Blog Again

Sometimes life pushes you back a step and it takes effort to move back forward. For Dcup and me this effort has proven to be painful at times and has proven to be wonderful at other times. Over the last month my blogging had become scant. The reasons are numerous. I realized that the lack of blogging – writing about me, my thoughts and “stuff” enabled me to verbalize my questions and feeling about everything. I blog therefore I am. Without blogging, my life’s footprint shrank reiterating the delicate balance in which we live.

This blog has been an excuse for me to reinvigorate my thoughts and verbalize my worries – even if only to myself; Allowing me to understand that I am self aware and that my senses are correct and meaningful and important to the future of my family.

We have a sense that maybe we have shortened our simmering cycle around here. We seem slightly better at pushing that button that necessitates communication; the pouring out of feeling and emotion and more productive communication. We ask questions which are difficult to answer.

Over the last year, I have made decisions that caused pain to me and my love. At the same time decisions that have allowed us to pick-up the pieces and mend what we know is good and know that certain aspects of our lives must change. For change to happen with must demand and expect it of each other.

Today, D and I had one of those difficult and emotional conversations that last year may have ended up in a shouting match or no communication at all. We didn’t scream and yell. We engaged and the results are not clear but we know that there are directions that we must travel and we both know that “I am unanimous in that”.